Outage

The snow starts falling, the trees break down

The moment I needed, the one I had just found

Ripped away suddenly, no warning, no sound

With anger and frustration, my heartbeat pounds

I find solace in solitude, in silence I stay strong

I should have been prepared for this, I knew all along.

The minute the cold comes, I feel it won’t be long.

My life now has no meaning, in my heart there is no song.

How long will it take for ‘normal’ to return?

What should I do in the meantime, what have I learned?

I exercise some patience, I ignore the yearn,

I wish I could go back; I would have taken my full turn. 

Back in Action

I have been a very bad blogger. I haven't posted since Labor Day, and the month is already over. My excuse: I have been sick. I didn't recover from my mystery illness until today, pretty much. After being on 3 rounds of antibiotics, having several blood tests and throat swabs, trying Traditional Chinese Medicine, Brazilian Propolis, and Apple Cider Vinegar (all super nasty, but down the hatch they went), and popping a ridiculous amount of vitamins and echinacea, I finally came to a conclusion: It's allergies.

Traditional Chinese Medicine: Herbs to make putrid tea!

Of course, I wasn't sure, but there had to be some explanation as to why I was suffering throat pain, lethargy and swollen glands. All the blood tests came back normal (good news!) and I had stopped thinking it was Mono. So, I dug through my bathroom cupboard and found some old Benadryl. Took one, passed out, and woke up the next morning with considerably less throat pain! My constant, perennial, mild allergies, that I have had for the last 10 years were not allowing my throat to heal! I continued with the Benadryl over a few days to ensure that I wasn't simply reaping the benefits of the placebo effect, and then made an appointment with my Dr.

Of course, I didn't just come to this conclusion myself. The internet helped. Once I thought that it could be caused by allergic complications, I immediately turned to cyberspace to provide me the answers to my many questions: Can post nasal drip cause throat irritation? Can allergies cause your lymph nodes in your neck to swell?  Can this constant infection cause exhaustion? Yes, yes, and Yes! I was so relieved, especially since my frequent visits to health forums in the past two months had so far done nothing but convince me I could have Cancer, or some sort of chronic virus!

Anyway, I was going to post about a new product that I like, but instead I decided to tell you about how I feel better. I am so happy. Health really is #1. Before money, before love, comes health. Health for you and the ones you love. Once you or someone you love loses their health, you will feel petty and silly for ever worrying about money for whining about work, or for letting silly disagreements bring you down.

I have still be reading your blogs, I just haven't been commenting as much because it would prompt you to visit my site, and I was embarrassed by the gross neglect that my blog has suffered. I was simply too busy pitying myself to write; I was negative, lazy, and completely uninspired. I have been on a high-calorie "I feel sorry for myself cuz I feel like ass, but still have my appetite at least" diet. Now I am getting back to normal, and I am excited to be back in blogging action!

Hope you are all well. I look forward to catching up and being a part of the blogger community again!


One more thing: A brave gal that I went to high school with is Running for the Cure, A cure for Breast Cancer, that is. I think there isn't a lot of time left to donate, but I was inspired to share this link since I am so thankful for my health, and really realize how important it is. She is a survivor at the age of 29, which is really an eye opener. It can affect the young as well. Please visit her page here and donate if you can. Thanks!

Happy Labor Day

I honestly feel that one of main components of my misery is disappointment. I mean, I’m not a miserable person per se, but we all have our moments of frustration and sadness. I find that for me, those instances are most likely to occur when disappointment is involved.

My current disappointment is caused by ruined weekend plans due to sickness. I was all packed and ready to go, but unable to do so due to exhaustion and the possibility that I’m contagious. This form of disappointment is one of the most frustrating, as I have no one to point my finger at. I must simply try to be patient, but as you can read here, patience is a constant challenge for me. To be angry and my unknown sickness is futile; it just breeds more negative energy inside of me.

So, I am trying to keep myself amused, alone and forlorn on this sunny Labor Day long weekend. Here are some of my tools. 

Star Wars Mod for Call of Duty 4!

Good old Family Guy (and Simpsons) reruns always cheer me up for a bit!

Gotta trust the herbs!    More on the benefits here!

My throat is really sore. I like the cherry ones the best!

Here's one of the things I missed out on:

  Doesn't it look yummy? I luv America Cake!

Hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend! I am getting a ton of rest and doing my best to enjoy my relaxation. Oh and if for some reason you're bored and want to read about something on the internet, read about ginger . It's super yummy and great for you! I've been drinking a ton of tea that I make with it. Cheers!

Tweet Tweet!

Well, I finally decided to see what this Twitter thing is all about. I was actually inspired by a fellow blogger Lydia's post. She had just signed up for Twitter, and after working through the initial struggles, she seems to ghave gotten hang of it right away! I started to sign in weekly and check out the “Twitterverse”, rather than semi annually. I still didn’t really get the reason for using @, or the #. I would update my status with a random comment, and sign out. I was trying to treat it like Facebook, which I spend a ton of time on, but it is actually really different, almost incomparably so.

The other night, I had some spare time on my hands and decided to figure it all out once and for all. I was stuck and didn’t know who to follow, what to say, when to use the #, or why I was even there! Then I remembered. One of my Twitter loving friends told me that as a blogger, I should be on there. Of course, I am just getting started and only starting to build my readership, but she said that if I advertise it on Twitter, I’d be sure to gain followers!

So, back to the other night. I was sitting in front of my huge computer screen (as I am in need of a new laptop, and to cheap to get a real cord for my old one) mulling, and reading, and clicking on things that piqued my interest. I would go to the profiles of my very few followers and see what they did. I just grew more confused as I surfed.  Then, I Googled “how to use Twitter”.  When in doubt, Google! Alas, there were several tutorials and explanations on how to become a part of the Twitterverse. I clicked the 1st one and only read some of it, as I knew that I just wanted to get started. I’m also not very patient, as I explained in one of my older blog posts...

So, some of you will see me attempting to Tweet and make sense of the whole thing. Since I only half read the tutorial, I may be doing some things wrong. Forgive me if I am. I am honestly a little overwhelmed by it! I cannot keep up with all of the tweets, and I’m following less than a hundred people!  It’s only been a few days and I’ve already wasted several hours on it… Twitter has become part of my daily social networking routine. Next on the list? Google + ( I have an account, but only 2 friends…), but that is a whole other quagmire.

Soon to come: a "Follow me on Twitter" button!!

   

A Pic and a Poem

I know that I haven't been blogging much lately. I blame it on summer. Here is another easy blog post, but something different as well. I found a poem that I wrote that isn't stupid or depressing (I've been writing since my teens), and a picture I took this summer that I love! With you, I share.

Honesty comes over me

but we're not face to face. 

How different would this all be

If my reality was your embrace. 

This feeling is so pure and serene

stemmed from commonness, likeness, and respect

Like a tranquil, temperate, tantalizing breeze:

A soulful encounter that I didn't expect. 

Your presence is a cliche to me

Roses are red after all,

The cherry blossoms for the Japanese, 

the long cozy Northwest fall.

You look at me, and what you see is me

you know exactly how to feel. 

I can hardly breathe, need to count to three

It almost all seems to be real! 

Cheers!

Hawaii Post!

As some of you may remember, I took off for a week in Maui back in April. It was an amazing trip, and I picked a few of my fave pics to share!
Of course, this is a very small selection. One thing I want to ensure that all potential Maui visitors know is that you really should do the Road to Hana. It is one of the most amazing drives I have been on. Maui is breathtaking, the temperature is perfect, and it is the epitome of paradise. Now, to get my shit together so I can move there.... :) I hope you enjoy the pics!

On the way to Haleakala Crater

Beautiful flowers growing everywhere!

 

 

Near the top of the crater!

Beautiful sunset at 10000 feet!

Enjoyed a great dinner at at fancy restaurant on the beach!

View from our table at Bubba Gump's in Lahaina

Got lucky and saw a rainbow while on the dinner cruise!

Wildlife sanctuary that we frequently drove past.

On the Road to Hana, one of the many stops: a black beach.

Volcanic rock combined with crashing waves and amazing turquoise water = beautiful photo ops!

example of the many falls we drove by on the Road to Hana

Still on the Road to Hana: taro fields.

mmmm....

Freshly baked!

Really cool building we drove by after passing the turnaround point in Hana.

Hana Highway. Yup, highway... 

 

 

 

 

Putting it in Perspective: A Bad Day.

Yesterday, I had a bad day. As you know from reading my post here I take the train to work 5 days a week. Well, yesterday the train was delayed, and my fellow passengers and I were to be transported to downtown Vancouver on city busses. Now, there is a drastic difference between the train and a city bus. The train is 1^st class public transit. It is temperature controlled, clean, comfortable and fast. I also don’t experience motion sickness on a train. So, I got on the crowded, humid, smelly bus, where I was unable to place my train blankie to get some rest and tried not to vomit for the duration of the jerky trip. Then, I got dropped off quite far away from my workplace and had to walk many city blocks, late for work and in need of coffee. I had no time to stop because Mondays are rough as it is in the office, and I didn’t want to abandon anyone as I am the person they count on to open on Mondays.

So, as you can see, I was indeed having a rough day. Then, I found out the details of the train delay. Someone (jumped) ended up in front of the train and died. Terrible. Of course, I made fun of the incident a bit because that is how I deal with tragedy, but really I was sickened by the whole thing and felt like a douche for being so irritated by my morning delay. I mean, I am only human and am entitled to my (many bad) moods, but still. That dead guy had a way worse morning than me. Whether it was a suicide or not, to be depressed to the point of ending your life is tragic, and although I don’t understand and barely tolerate depression, I still pity it, and I am still glad that my life is free it.

The rest of my day was tainted by a melancholy air. This is unusual for me mid-cycle, and I blamed it on the tinge of motion sickness I experienced from having to text message while on the bus. I started to read the news, trying to find out what happened that morning on the tracks. I ended up reading a bit about the humanitarian crisis in Somolia, where innocent people are suffering famine, drought and genocide. Now, I know that it is kind of old news, and that many of us easily turn a blind eye to the crisis’s in Africa, but it really bothered me to read it, and view the pictures of the children suffering from malnutrition. I follow the news on the Human Rights Watch website so I have somewhat of an awareness of the trials of the Somolian people and the terrible conditions of the Kenyan refugee camps. I think the reason that reading about it yesterday affected me more than usual was because I had been soooo upset that morning about being late for work and missing my breakfast and coffee, but really, I have nothing to complain about.

I missed one meal. These people walk for days on end with no food or water, abandoning weaker loved ones on the way. The world is so full of human suffering: of people losing loved ones to famine, disease, or suicide; of women suffering rape and countless forms of abuse in societies where such treatment is the norm. I live in a society where I actually get to complain about being fat. Where the food on my plate is full of nutrients and tastes amazing. A place where I get to both drink and wash my car with delicious, clean, fresh water.  We spend countless precious hours of our lives crying over relationship problems, whining about going to work for 8 hours a day, yelling at our fellow humans for poor service, stressing about not having enough money to buy all the excessive things that we think that we need. All of these negative actions will eventually affect our health, and trust me, when your health goes, you will feel like an idiot for ever worrying about money.

I made it through my bad day. A client came in and started yelling at my colleagues over something so trivial that I had to leave my desk, or else she would have got a lecture on the trials of the Somolian people. The minutes ticked by and eventually I got to board the comfortable, modern, immaculate train to go home. I reflected on how lucky I am: not only am I lucky to have been born here, where my job involves zero physical exertion, and where I get to drink fresh spring water all day at my desk, but also on how happy I am with my frame of mind. I rarely stress about the little things, am healthy (knock on wood) and have surrounded myself with good people who are loyal and that I care about. We all have bad days, or days where we feel sad or angry, and we are entitled to feel that way. I guess my message is to just not let it get you down too much, and try not to sweat the small stuff, because when put in perspective, most of the things in our lives that upset us, are quite small indeed.